A 75-year longitudial study out of Harvard uncovered what creates a happy and purposeful life. What were the most important variables? Money? NOPE. Success? NOPE. What kind of car you drove? Nuh-uh. How much power you had? How much you achieved? What kind of jeans you wore? What wrinkle cream you used? How much you weighed? No. No. No. No.
The study found STRONG RELATIONSHIPS to be far and away the strongest predictor of life satisfaction. There is a growing body of research that links social ties to longevity, lower stress levels, and overall well-being.
The interesting thing is that while most people will strongly agree that relationships are what matter most...it's usually where people are investing the least of their money.
Why everyone isn't running out and investing in therapy, marriage counseling, couples programs, and relationship coaching to improve themselves relationally is beyond me.
SERIOUSLY!! What do you want? Do you want your relationships to drain you? To feel uncertain about what you want and who you are? To feel exhausted? Stuck? At a loss? Hopeless? And have to wonder things like, "Are we harming our kids?"
7 out of 10 marriages, SEVEN OUT OF TEN marriages, aren't well.
I hope to help you create a relationship that energizes you: one your kids will want to EMULATE, one that will have a positive impact on you and a ripple effect on those around you, one that will encourage your growth and success, and help you to become the person you've always wanted to be.
Go ahead...ask people if they would want to have a marriage just like their parents'...a "YES" is so rare.
Cleaning up the things in yourself and your relationship that keep you feeling all knotted up inside isn't THAT hard. By the time people call me they're usually overwhelmed with what feels like a laundry list of issues, problems, and past hurts.
What I MOST ALWAYS find is that underneath this laundry list of issues is one or two underlying themes that need to be addressed, cleared up, cleaned out, unlearned, and then we need to get the supports in place in the form of new skills, strategies, mindsets, and the accountability to stay consistent so that you can get yourself out of this state again and again and again.
I had a woman in a new client call last week say, "It's hard for me to not think of this as failing."
WE ARE NEVER TAUGHT THIS STUFF. Everything I've learned about navigating tough conversations and close relationships with ease I've learned in adulthood. I learned A LOT about what I didn't want in my early years. I entered adulthood really clear about what I didn't want, but with no clue about how to create what I did want.
I spent years, and tens of thousands of dollars on my education and training to become a relationship expert, but you don't have to. You just have to get the support to do YOU really well.
To not sweep your own wants and needs under the rug in conflict.
To not act out on the people you love the most.
To peel back the layers to get to the root of what keeps you acting in ways that you cognitively KNOW don't behoove you.
To free yourself from your past and the unconscious limiting beliefs that now color your perspective.
To feel sure and confident and free.
How much is it worth to you to feel empowered to move through your relationships in a way that you know WORKS? To have, far and away the biggest variable when it comes to happiness, and therefore success, covered?
More than that big screen TV on your wall?
More than that extra 1000 square feet in your home?
More than that Caribbean vacation?
More than that snazzy 9x13 rug you've been lusting after for your living room?
I thought so. Your relationship is calling you to grow.