On facebook a few weeks ago I posted this: Another person's unwillingness or inability to have a kind and respectful interaction with you has nothing to do with you.
In the comments box I received a blog challenge. Basically one of my friends said, "How do I do that?" Challenge accepted.
Not taking things personally is a process.
It took a HUGE shift in beliefs for me. I used to operate from a place where I HAD to be a "good person" so people would like me, and if other people liked me then I liked me....and when people didn't like me I felt like crap.
Not everyone is going to like me. I had to get clear about that. My husband doesn't like me ALL the time, but instead of operating from an I-lose, you-win space I've realized the importance of operating from an I-win, you-win space.
I had to redefine what I thought it meant to be a good person because I realized being a good person ALSO includes being good to me. This means not tolerating disrespect, honoring my wants, needs, and feelings, creating boundaries, and forging through confrontation with others.
Shew! I look back on my past self and breathe deep just thinking of the emotional energy it took to tap dance around everyone else's needs and ignore my own. I'm so glad I learned the mindset and skills that go along with a different approach to life, work, and family....and it's always a work in progress. [...]
A few days after I received this blog challenge I was videotaping a conversation between my 3-year-old son and myself (I never do this, btw) and caught on tape a chance to explain a piece of this concept to him after he said in all seriousness, "I just don't really love myself."
Now I had the HUGE challenge of explaining this in a even-a-3-year-old-can-understand-it sort of way. Thought I'd share :)
Here's a little video about worth, value, loveableness, vulnerability, and how not to take things personally.
**Help me in my goal of changing people's minds about therapy by clicking the 'like' button below to share with your Facebook friends. Many Thanks :)
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ARTICLES by Mika Ross