My Worst Heartbreaks...Thankful Smartphones Didn't Exist Then

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You've found out he's dating someone new and happy. 

We've all been there...well, at least I have. It's a terrible, empty, awful, torturous place to be. 

To feel like every ounce of your worth and value has been taken by the person who's broken up with you. 

One part of you wants him to hurt as badly as you do, and the other part of you fantasizes about him crawling back to you. 

You just want to feel [...]

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                                 better. 

I have done some crazy shit in the name of heartbreak. I've stalked, gotten Cs in classes, and tantrumed...in public (cringing just typing that). 

And, right now, I'm really glad all this technology didn't exist when I was in the depths of heartbreak.
 
But what my heartbreaks taught me in the end was that it's all an illusion. 

He never had your worth and value....you just thought that he did. You thought you needed him to be happy...to fill this gaping hole in your soul...you don't. 

In your mind YOU decided first that you were broken and not enough...YOU decided you had a hole. 

You lied to yourself. 

   There is no one that can abuse you more than you abuse yourself. 

You thought he could save you from feeling empty and broken....and new relationships do for a while. BUT all that good ju-ju isn't coming from the other person. 

Sure...that other person sees the best in you, but what feels amazing is that you start seeing you from his eyes. 

YOU start seeing the best in you. You start seeing yourself as whole. You start seeing yourself as not broken.....YOU stop abusing yourself so much. 

You think it's the other person that's your drug that made you feel better, but it's not true. 

It's all in you. 

Heartbreaks have been some of my GREATEST teachers. They made me take radical responsibility for my own happiness. 

They made me realize the more I believe my worth and value is outside of me the more I'm on an emotional roller coaster that I don't have control over. 

They taught me how to nurture myself, forgive myself, and be easy on myself when the person I wanted the most wouldn't. 

They taught me a resilience and way of life I wouldn't trade for anything. 

My hope is that everyone finds this. My mission is to give people the mindsets, beliefs, skills and strategies to get your happy back again and again. 

I needed BIG support to do this consistently for myself and I hope you find the support you need to do this too. 

You deserve to have happy relationships.