Hey there. Maybe you're here because...
You can't seem to get through a tough (or not tough at all) conversation without getting stuck, feeling misperceived or misunderstood, or giving up.
You've lost those rose-colored glasses...or maybe just your partner has.
You miss your best friend.
You're fighting about who left the garage light on (and other inconsequential things).
You can can no longer joke with each other the way you used to.
It's easy to get here. SO. EASY. - your brains are actually wired for it.
If you’re reading this, it means you’re ready.
Ready to release the mindset blocks that keep you and your relationship stuck.
Ready to consciously create the family you’ve always wanted.
Ready to stop settling for a “meh” relationship.
Ready to feel successful in the relationship department, TOO.
Ready to commit to your happiness because, deep down, you know it’s what’s best for your kids.
And ready to be strategically aligned with who you really are…even in your toughest relationships.
If this sounds like you, then I’m thrilled to invite you to join me in one of my programs for couples.
I meticulously designed these programs for couples to provide a high-quality, deep-dive immersion experience that gives you:
The STRUCTURE you need to build momentum in a better-feeling direction and build trust with your process, learning, and growth.
The TRAINING you require in order to master communication on everything from blow-ups and shut-downs to sex and money.
The ACCOUNTABILITY you crave to help you stay on track and get the encouragement, support, and celebration for goals set and reached.
The STRATEGY you want as we create your customized action plan for consistent growth.
I have worked deeply with couples for over a decade and there is something I know for sure: If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve gotta do something you’ve never done.
This is your chance to DO that thing.
I'm so excited to work with you,
You can't seem to get through a tough (or not tough at all) conversation without getting stuck, feeling misperceived or misunderstood, or giving up.
You've lost those rose-colored glasses...or maybe just your partner has.
You miss your best friend.
You're fighting about who left the garage light on (and other inconsequential things).
You can can no longer joke with each other the way you used to.
It's easy to get here. SO. EASY. - your brains are actually wired for it.
If you’re reading this, it means you’re ready.
Ready to release the mindset blocks that keep you and your relationship stuck.
Ready to consciously create the family you’ve always wanted.
Ready to stop settling for a “meh” relationship.
Ready to feel successful in the relationship department, TOO.
Ready to commit to your happiness because, deep down, you know it’s what’s best for your kids.
And ready to be strategically aligned with who you really are…even in your toughest relationships.
If this sounds like you, then I’m thrilled to invite you to join me in one of my programs for couples.
I meticulously designed these programs for couples to provide a high-quality, deep-dive immersion experience that gives you:
The STRUCTURE you need to build momentum in a better-feeling direction and build trust with your process, learning, and growth.
The TRAINING you require in order to master communication on everything from blow-ups and shut-downs to sex and money.
The ACCOUNTABILITY you crave to help you stay on track and get the encouragement, support, and celebration for goals set and reached.
The STRATEGY you want as we create your customized action plan for consistent growth.
I have worked deeply with couples for over a decade and there is something I know for sure: If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve gotta do something you’ve never done.
This is your chance to DO that thing.
I'm so excited to work with you,
Conflict doesn't suck. You suck at conflict.
I used to think conflict really sucked. I avoided it like the plague and became adept at swiftly sweeping my own wants and needs under the rug. Conflict, however, has the power to create deeper understanding, increasing emotional intimacy, and better, more sustainable relationships when it's done REALLY WELL. If you despise conflict, welcome to the well-populated club.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU SUCK AT CONFLICT?
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU SUCK AT CONFLICT?
- You avoid uncomfortable interactions like the plague (like me circa 2002).
- Fights escalate into defensiveness and/or yelling quickly.
- You may have started sweeping your own wants and needs under the rug because, "It's not worth the fight."
- On a scale of 1-10 (10 being AWESOME), you would score the emotional intimacy (feeling deeply seen and understood and like you both have positive regard for each other and warm ooey gooey thoughts) a 6 or below on most days.
- You grew up in a family that didn't know a whole lot about the kind of marriage and relationships you want (me neither!).
- You don't both leave the uncomfortable interaction feeling BETTER.
- You feel resentment building or like you have a short fuse or emotional wall making vulnerability increasingly uncomfortable.
- You believe your partner "overreacts" or that his/her responses are "ridiculous".
- And, if this has been going on for a while, you may be finding it's hard to LIKE your partner anymore.
This course is for you.
Introducing...The Online Course: Within this 3-week in-depth course you'll receive step-by-step, easy to follow, in-depth training to support you in creating a partnership you LOVE. The course is delivered to your inbox weekly. You'll receive 3 Online Modules which include video, audio, and downloadable files.
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MODULE 1The Emotional Intent Clarity Tool & Training: I want you to be able to end an argument BEFORE it happens. Not being able to communicate deeply will keep you in the cycle of having the same, ridiculous arguments on repeat. The FIRST and most overlooked step in clear communication is to clearly understand your own emotional intent and the intent of the person with whom you're interacting. This tool will allow you to deep-dive under the surface of the behaviors you don't like (in yourself or others) and get to the roots of the problems in your relationship.
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MODULE 2Ninja-like Communication Skills: Learning and implementing just one of these communication skills is proven to significantly improve scores on measures of relationship satisfaction and we cover EIGHT.
MODULE 3 (2013)
I teach my kids this stuff too!
The Conflict Map Tool & Training: Also included is an in-depth training on the Conflict Map Tool. People often ask me, "What do I do next?" or "What should I say next?" when I'm helping them through tough conversations: they know that what's habitual hasn't been beneficial. Breaking old relational habits and coming up with the next best step is about thinking about tough conversations in a WHOLE NEW WAY, and the Conflict Map and Training help you do just that.
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Featured in:
THE EFFECTS OF NOT DOING
CONFLICT REALLY WELL ARE CUMULATIVE
POOP-colored glasses...
What happens when you don't reach a full resolution, where both people feel better, at the end of a conflict? You have to sweep it (or pieces of it) under the relationship rug. By the time clients get to my office (I'm a licensed Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach with Degrees in Marriage and Family Counseling) they usually have a multitude of conflicts and a proverbial elephant underneath that relationship rug...and that elephant is pooping.
When we have that much stuff under our relationship rug it impacts HOW WE SEE the other person, their behaviors and their intent. Instead of having on rose-colored glasses, we now have on (you guessed it) POOP-colored glasses - making miscommunication MORE LIKELY to occur.
This snowball effect is cumulative and an insidious part of relationship demise. Relationships don't just break one day, they break insidiously, very slowly over time.
When we have that much stuff under our relationship rug it impacts HOW WE SEE the other person, their behaviors and their intent. Instead of having on rose-colored glasses, we now have on (you guessed it) POOP-colored glasses - making miscommunication MORE LIKELY to occur.
This snowball effect is cumulative and an insidious part of relationship demise. Relationships don't just break one day, they break insidiously, very slowly over time.
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For a FREE TRAINING check out the next session of my Strategies for Busy Couples Webinar. Over 2000 people have signed up to watch. Emily attended and here's what she had to say....she's a yoga instructor in St. Louis and is pretty wise herself. We're not even related!
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You'll Also Get:
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Group Q&A Chats: Weekly live video chats where I'll cover EVEN MORE information and you'll get a chance to ask me questions about your specific-to-you stuck spots.
Access to Our Supportive Secret Facebook Group: You'll get access to the exclusive Facebook group for 6 months where new valuable trainings, tips, and strategies for creating your best relationships will be posted every week. We'll also be completing exercises here, reporting on your wins, getting feedback, and I'll be checking in to support you with As to your Qs along the way. |
Ever-expanding content on the FB group.
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Some of the Tools Included:
Great 8 Communication Skills: Have a partner that shuts-down or blows-up at the first inkling there might be a disagreement? You'll receive training on 8 of the most relationship-changing communication skills with real life examples. I promise to not turn you into a robot or Stepford Wife, but I do want you to have the skills to be able to CONFIDENTLY move through difficult conversations with ease. Practicing just ONE of these skills in your relationship has been shown to significantly increase relationship satisfaction. Nuf said.
Emotional Intent Clarity Tool: Here’s the real deal. You could learn EVERY communication skill under the sun, know them forwards and backwards, semantically say every single word correctly and in the exact order you’re supposed to, but if your intent is ‘off’ it has the power to ruin the most perfectly worded communication, cause irritation, anger and defensiveness in the listener and send your interaction straight down the drain. It's what has driven me the most crazy in my close relationships. INTENT is a POWERFUL thing.
Not fully understanding and being able to communicate about different intents is at the core of every argument you have. This one tool will give you really clear ways to break down the most complicated of conflicts into 4 different categories. Ever have NO CLUE why you're getting the reactions you're getting in your closest relationships? Once you learn to identify the intents involved in an interaction the reasons for pain, fear, anger, or hurt feelings becomes clear...and so do your next best steps. Eliminate feeling like you can't win with this one tool.
Emotional Intent Clarity Tool: Here’s the real deal. You could learn EVERY communication skill under the sun, know them forwards and backwards, semantically say every single word correctly and in the exact order you’re supposed to, but if your intent is ‘off’ it has the power to ruin the most perfectly worded communication, cause irritation, anger and defensiveness in the listener and send your interaction straight down the drain. It's what has driven me the most crazy in my close relationships. INTENT is a POWERFUL thing.
Not fully understanding and being able to communicate about different intents is at the core of every argument you have. This one tool will give you really clear ways to break down the most complicated of conflicts into 4 different categories. Ever have NO CLUE why you're getting the reactions you're getting in your closest relationships? Once you learn to identify the intents involved in an interaction the reasons for pain, fear, anger, or hurt feelings becomes clear...and so do your next best steps. Eliminate feeling like you can't win with this one tool.
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Conflict Map and Training: Ever feel like you need a map to get out of conflict? Well now you'll have one. This map took so much brain-power to make, it hurt. There are ways to move through conflict that in the short-run will feel better, but in the long-run will mean more conflict. When you're avoiding, shutting down, or sweeping your own wants and needs under the rug to keep from fighting your chances for conflict in the future increase. The longer these practices are in place, the more is under your relationship rug. Use this map to thoroughly resolve issues for good.
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ALL OF THIS COSTS LESS THAN ONE SESSION WITH ME
What is so cool about this online program is that I get to serve more couples and families in a really big, yet affordable way. When I work with couples I meet with them over the first week for a 2-hour appointment. The you suck at CONFLICT program includes MANY TIMES this amount of training, education, deep-diving exercises, and support for less $$ than an initial couples session.
I love the results this online program has created for couples so much that it has been a non-negotiable part of the only ways I work with couples, in intensive 3 and 6-month programs that cost $2000-3000+.
I love the results this online program has created for couples so much that it has been a non-negotiable part of the only ways I work with couples, in intensive 3 and 6-month programs that cost $2000-3000+.
SAME price whether you participate solo or with your partner:
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Instant Access to your course portal and Module 1 which includes the Emotional Intent Clarity Tool & Training. Instant Community in our top-secret FB group where I upload new additional content every week and hold Q&A sessions. You'll have access for 6 MONTHS! Weekly Delivery of 3 in-depth training modules including video, audio, and .pdf exercises over 3 weeks right to your inbox. Consistency and support are key, and built in to the program. Create relationships and a life you love. Cancel anytime during 7-day trial |
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Why Mika?
Maybe we haven't non-virtually met. If so, you should have a healthy dose of skepticism. I mean...I'm asking to be a part of THE most important relationship in your life.
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So here's a little more about me:
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Still not sure? No worries. My FREE Training for Busy Couples is currently available for a limited time. Sign up for the next session here: www.MikaRoss.com/registration
A 7-day "Try it on, see if it fits, keep some of it" trial
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I've done everything in my power to make this the simplest, most comprehensive program for improving relationships available.
I KNOW it works because it's part of the exact same process that's been behind HUGE relationship turn-arounds in my own life and those of my clients.
However, if you're on the fence...or if you're skeptical if change is even possible for you, then I want to give you every chance to start this program with absolute confidence. That's why I'm giving you a FULL 7 DAYS in the program at no risk. Choose to quit by day 7 and you'll receive a full refund. View full instructions on how to quit >> |
Not quite ready to commit?
No worries! Check out the free valuable content from Relatables, Mika's Facebook Show, where she breaks down big ideas into actionable and practical strategies so that you can start creating a relationship and life you love. You can even PM her a short question to address in an episode! CLICK HERE to view all episodes.
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How to deal with criticism...even when you deserve it.
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CONFLICT: How do we move forward if we can't agree on the facts?
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Gennifer asks, “BUT...what if both partners have the perception that he/she is doing more of the work?”
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CONFLICT sucks. I shut down. He blows up. We get stuck. Nothing ever gets resolved. We have the same fights over and over.
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What do conflict and Christmas tree (or Hanukkah bush) decorating have in common?? You tend to do this ONE weird thing when you do them both well.
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The WORST thing a couples therapist can hear (it's not what you think).
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Hey, it's me, Mika.
How do I know you can transform what's possible for your relationship?
Mika & fam
Because I came from some of the most insidiously destructive communication patterns there are.
I very uncharacteristically threw a remote across the room (back when remotes weighed 8 pounds) at age 11 because I couldn't hear the TV over my parents arguing. My mom filed for divorce for the 2nd time soon after this. (<--read more about that here)
I was aware I wasn't born into the Cleaver family. I knew I had been trained into my beliefs about relationships from people who knew very little about the kind of marriage I wanted.
I became obsessed with relationships and what makes them work.
For years I participated in my own therapy and coaching, I earned degrees in psychology and marriage and family counseling, I've researched, I've scoured spiritual and relational texts, worked my way through A Course in Miracles, attended multiple professional conferences…..
I’m SO PASSIONATE about this stuff because I turned it around…BIG TIME.
The compliments I take the most seriously are the ones I receive from my husband…because all I ever wanted was a happy and functioning family.
4 years ago he said to me, “Thank you.” We had just sat down to a not-so-spectacular dinner. I had spent this day of my maternity leave with a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old and a nursing baby. I'm willing to bet I had bodily fluids on my clothes that weren't mine. I looked at my plate confused and thought, "He can't be thanking me for this dinner." I said, “For what?!”
He replied, “For helping me be the person I've always wanted to be.”
My eyes welled with tears. This stuck with me. FOR. DAYS. I get thank you notes and testimonials from clients frequently, but this…THIS was it.
I had been so busy working on MY part in our relationship I hadn't realized the impact it had on him. He said he couldn't think of anyone’s marriage he’d rather have. I agreed.
And now you get to reap the benefits of my total obsession.
The best of what I've come across over the last 20 years I've synthesized into this life-changing program.
Cheers to you, and all I know is possible for your relationship. *Cue the Kumbaya....just kidding ;-)
I very uncharacteristically threw a remote across the room (back when remotes weighed 8 pounds) at age 11 because I couldn't hear the TV over my parents arguing. My mom filed for divorce for the 2nd time soon after this. (<--read more about that here)
I was aware I wasn't born into the Cleaver family. I knew I had been trained into my beliefs about relationships from people who knew very little about the kind of marriage I wanted.
I became obsessed with relationships and what makes them work.
For years I participated in my own therapy and coaching, I earned degrees in psychology and marriage and family counseling, I've researched, I've scoured spiritual and relational texts, worked my way through A Course in Miracles, attended multiple professional conferences…..
I’m SO PASSIONATE about this stuff because I turned it around…BIG TIME.
The compliments I take the most seriously are the ones I receive from my husband…because all I ever wanted was a happy and functioning family.
4 years ago he said to me, “Thank you.” We had just sat down to a not-so-spectacular dinner. I had spent this day of my maternity leave with a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old and a nursing baby. I'm willing to bet I had bodily fluids on my clothes that weren't mine. I looked at my plate confused and thought, "He can't be thanking me for this dinner." I said, “For what?!”
He replied, “For helping me be the person I've always wanted to be.”
My eyes welled with tears. This stuck with me. FOR. DAYS. I get thank you notes and testimonials from clients frequently, but this…THIS was it.
I had been so busy working on MY part in our relationship I hadn't realized the impact it had on him. He said he couldn't think of anyone’s marriage he’d rather have. I agreed.
And now you get to reap the benefits of my total obsession.
The best of what I've come across over the last 20 years I've synthesized into this life-changing program.
Cheers to you, and all I know is possible for your relationship. *Cue the Kumbaya....just kidding ;-)
What we won't do.
Hold virtual hands and sing Kumbaya, group therapy, or mandated sharing. While I do hope the online Facebok group lends itself to feeling comfortable in sharing of your relationship struggles, you are free to share as much or as little as you'd like.
The program is meant to be informational and educational. While results can be therapeutic, this will be based on your engagement and involvement in the class and your commitment level to change once the course is over.
The program is meant to be informational and educational. While results can be therapeutic, this will be based on your engagement and involvement in the class and your commitment level to change once the course is over.
Yippee! What happy participants are saying.
- "I'm raving to all my friends about it!"
- Before the 3rd Module: "Can't wait! There has already been THOUSANDS of dollars worth of therapy in this course."
- "SO much great information."
- "I'm catching myself and pausing before I say things and trying to do it in a new way."
- "It's like you're in my head!"
- "We don't feel so alone."
- "What's next? Seriously, let us know! We want more!"
- Received this email from a couple who'd just finished the course:
As a Nationally Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor I cannot share participant's identies. It even goes against my ethics code to ASK clients for a testimonial. However, the post below had a public privacy setting in a public forum. As you can see...I take confidentiality REALLY seriously.
Click here to see what happy clients are saying :)
FAQs:
Can I do the Program alone?
Absolutely! I've had several people take the course without their partner and still are able to create change in their marraige. When I work with couples I tell them that from here on out your only problem, project, and solutuion is YOU. Cleaning up your part of the problems in your relationship is the only thing you have control over and partner participation isn't necessary for this to occur.
will parenting solutions be covered in course?
Kids tend to magnify issues already present in the relationship while decreasing time to sufficiently deal with the issues. The course works to help busy couples slice through conflict, resentment, and hard conversations more efficiently and increase emotional intimacy...whether kids are in the picture or not. The course is parent-focused, but childless couple-friendly. While no explicit parenting information is reviewed, I use these skills, strategies, and mindsets in my relationships with my kids as well. Many of the skills for healthy relationships with your spouse are the same skills necessary for healthy relationships with your children.
Soooo, How long will i have access to the content?
You'll have access to your online course portal for 6 weeks and the secret Facebook community forever! However, you can download the content and rework the program for as long as you both shall live.
If we both do the course, should we do the modules together?
I want you to fit this program into your life in any way you can (while driving to work, while walking the dog, while cleaning...). I know doing the modules together is not ideal for most people. If partners do the Modules separately I suggest setting up a weekly 30-minute meeting with each other to discuss the material.
Who is it for?
This course might be for you if you'd like to take your relationship to the next level, if you feel like you've been in a slump, or would just like to get back to a place where your relationship feels better.
Who is it not for?
If the choice is between consulting a divorce lawyer or this course, this course is not for you. Your relationship may deserve some 1-on-2 attention in the form of counseling or mediation. If you are not sure if this course is for you schedule a call with me or shoot me an email and we can discuss your options. I want you to be clear about what will work best for you.