Don't Wait Until You're Perfect
Hi. My name is Mika, and I'm a recovering perfectionist. I even had to fight the urge to re-write the saying to the left 40 times. It's true.
My perfectionist qualities really seem to get in my way when it comes to big things: my dreams and big goals, really putting myself out there....when it comes to getting really close to being WHO I REALLY WANT TO BE ALL THE TIME.
Thinking that I could never really do it PERFECT keeps me from reaching towards goals. My perfectionist self thinks doing it imperfectly is worse than not doing anything at all.
When I work with couples I see how the fear of not doing or saying it "right" or perfect encourages avoidance and a bigger wedge of emotional distance between two people.
When I work with young adults I see how the fear of not being perfect encourages isolation and loneliness.
When I work with people who are grieving I see how the fear of not grieving in the "right way" paints them into a lose-lose corner where their only options are to feel "wrong" or push it all down.
When I work with people struggling with weight I see how all that perfectionist jibber-jabber in their mind just makes them want to say, "SCREW IT!" [...]
and eat a doughnut.
As much as I would love to say I'm a RECOVERED perfectionist I have to admit...this issue rears its ugly, imperfect head in certain areas of my life.
But I've realized recently the importance of imperfect action. Importance doesn't even feel like a big enough word...maybe necessity would be better.
I'm fighting to remember that doing it imperfectly is better than not doing it at all. I struggle to remind myself that I don't like people when they're attempting to project a perfect image. So perfection isn't even something I like in other people...WHY do I expect it of myself??
Are you a person who works better when you have a deadline? I am.
Do you like to start projects, but don't love finishing them? I do!
I used to think it was about me being lazy. It's SO not. It's more about me wanting my work to be PERFECT. If there's no deadline I'll procrastinate actually DOING anything because doing anything imperfectly is uncomfortable for me. And EVERYTHING is imperfect when it starts. The deadline FORCES me to finish even if it is imperfect. This is why school was great for me...all those due dates!
If you can relate to this it doesn't mean you're imperfect. This means you like to do things well! Now that you know about your uber-commitedness to being perfect and how it's really not that perfect I dare you to work with it and around it. Reach out for some accountability, due dates, and support in any form you can find it in.
I dare you to be perfectly imperfect with me.
You wanna see how perfectly imperfect I am?? Just sign up below to watch a TOTALLY perfectly imperfect free video of me. You'll get to see me almost get attacked by a hummingbird, fumble through telling you about my parents' imperfect marriage, and see my imperfect shirt, imperfect background and imperfect lighting! My assistant said my forehead looks "GIANT" in the photo below...so even that's not perfect! Oh, and you might learn some really perfect skills that will help you to start creating the relationships you REALLY want.
I could have waited until the video was perfect to share, but then you probably would have NEVER seen it! No joke. This video took me MONTHS of trying to get it perfect....I even rigged up a teleprompter out of duct tape, a cardboard box, and a piece of glass at one point. I bought a clip-on microphone, which I ended up throwing across the room. One day I had lights on ladders, cameras balancing on baskets, balancing on top of tables, and me in a shirt and underpants (the pants got thrown across the room, too) cuz all that lighting made it so dang HOT...all not to get the PERFECT take.
This video is me sitting on my front porch allowing myself to not be so perfect...YES I'M WEARING PANTS!
I hope you won't wait until you're perfect to do whatever it is you're wanting to do, or to be whatever it is you're wanting to be.
PS - HEY! If you liked this 2013 video, check out my 2019 FREE Training for Busy Couples available for a limited time :) CLICK HERE
2/3/2014 05:38:42 pm
And that's why I adore you!
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ARTICLES by Mika Ross