IS Happiness a Choice?
If it were this easy, we’d all be a bunch of deliriously happy laughing hyenas.
It is simple, but it’s not easy...and often requires focusing on, and doing and saying things that feel completely counterintuitive.
And all the research on change and well-being says you’re likely not going to berate or toxic-positivity your way into feeling better. At least not in a sustainable kind of way.
The amount of BS, not research-based mental wellness advice I see on social media is horrifying.
💫 If it’s “SHOULDING” it’s toxic.
💫 If it calls unconditionally loving yourself BS, it’s flagrantly going against an overwhelming amount of research on well-being, motivation, change, and even leadership.
💫 If it insinuates there’s something wrong with you or you shouldn’t be feeling the way you’re feeling it’s SHAME inducing, and don’t even get me started on all of the icky things shame’s associated with (depression, anxiety, addiction, eating disorders...to name a few)
What I’m trying to say is, I hope you censor what’s going into your brain and eyeballs. You’ll likely know if it’s for you AND worthy of you giving it validity if it
1️⃣ FEELS GOOD TO HEAR!,
2️⃣ Simultaneously feels good and uncomfortable 💡 like, “oh, damn. I do that 😬”, or
3️⃣ IS SOMETHING YOU WOULD SAY TO A 4-YEAR OLD that’s feeling the way you’re feeling (“Happiness is a choice!” See how that doesn’t hold up here???)
If it doesn’t fit into these categories, it might be adding to the pile of ammunition your self-critic has been amassing for years. Lovingly put him/her in timeout.
PS - Check out my FREE Training for Busy Couples or a whole slew of Online Courses for some more meaningful self care :)
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ARTICLES by Mika Ross