Learn How to Fight
Research says the #1 skill lasting relationships need is the ability to fight well.
But let’s face it, most of us have no idea how to do that. We’re either yelling about it or sweeping things under the rug, avoiding conflict like the plague. We don’t trust that we can get through conflict well, and this is a recipe for feeling like you’re “growing apart,” roommates, or worse, enemies.
This 3-week online course with Therapist & Relationship Coach Mika Ross (she didn’t grow up in a Beaver Cleaver family; more below…) is designed to give you a structured path to follow in addressing key skills, strategies, and mindsets shown to significantly improve relationship satisfaction as well as address common communication hurdles that can be an underlying, never-ending source of bickering and growing resentment.
What if conflict doesn’t have to make hearts sink and stomachs churn?
💻 ONLINE COURSE 🕓 5+ HOURS OF CONTENT ✓ relateWELL MEMBER EXCLUSIVE
**Access for 2 per household, but partner participation is not necessary for results.
The #1 skill lasting relationships need is the ability to fight well.
— The Gottman Institute
The Outcome:
Be equipped with a process to navigate conflict in a way that leaves everyone feeling better, not worse.
Know exactly what to do and say next in difficult conversations.
Reduce time and energy stuck in conflict without resolution AND your overall stress levels.
Create a relationship you want your kids to see.
No more winging it alone…
I’m a Licensed Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach (18 years) with a 6-month+ waitlist and a Corporate Speaker for global companies like Bayer. I have years of experience as a University Professor and Advisor, a certification in the Gottman Method (plus many others), and, many moons ago, was an assistant to the editor of a peer-reviewed journal (I like research). I am also a wife to an Iowan who has the sense of humor of a 12-year-old and a mother to 3 (one neurodivergent).
Everything here is backed by science, research, and loads of real-life testing but is delivered without the psychobabble and with a side of humor that I’m told husbands appreciate; I imagine mine in the audience whenever I’m speaking.
95.5% 5-Star Reviews
“I highly recommend! This completely changed the way my husband and I communicate with each other. I have read every self-help book there is and nothing stuck like the information Mika presented. My husband felt like Mika “got” him and his side as well.”
-Suzy N.
“Mika, this is such an awesome resource! Great, great job. You are a skilled communicator and I enjoy your style - empathetic, great use of humor, and relatable. So good. We know from research on adult learning that we adults desperately need REPETITION and I have started suggesting my individual therapy clients go to your Instagram (and now this) for reinforcement on the concepts we discuss in session. So so valuable.”
-Natalie Lanning, LCSW
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This course and every other course & workshop
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Over 40 hours of video content and growing.
Members have access to a database of past workshops and live monthly workshops on topics ranging from understanding and communicating about sex drive differences to managing technology and creating family chore systems.
Live access to Mika Ross, Therapist + Relationship Coach. Join us for monthly Q+As and live events.
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The best thing we can do for our kids is keep ourselves happy…
I didn’t come from a perfect background. I was 6 when this picture was taken, and it was around the time my mom first filed for divorce. She didn’t follow through with it this time, and my parents would later divorce around my 12th birthday. I could feel the tension between my parents, even when they weren’t actively arguing, and was full of worries at this age, “Will it be a good day or a bad day?” I was constantly monitoring their non-verbals for clues.
Both of my parents have been married 3 times, so it goes without saying… I used to think conflict really sucked…
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My family either screamed and yelled about it, swept it under the rug, or some combination of both. I used to avoid conflict like the plague (thinking it was only bad) and became adept at sweeping my own wants and needs under the rug... until I blew like a tea kettle.
All I’ve ever wanted was a happy and functioning family, and I was clear I didn’t have what it took.
What I didn’t know is that conflict can create deeper understanding, increased emotional intimacy (less feeling like roommates), and better, more sustainable relationships when it's done REALLY WELL. I am SO PASSIONATE about this stuff because I turned it around in my own life BIG TIME. This course teaches you the exact process I use in my own life and with my clients to confidently navigate conflict in a way that leaves both people feeling better and closer...not worse.
If you despise conflict as much as I did, you’re in the right place.
More Info
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Your course purchase includes your 3-module course, available 24/7 in your learning portal. Each module includes practical, easy-to-follow trainings to support you in creating a partnership you love. The lesson (and homework) sequence is strategic and built to get you sustainable and meaningful change…unlike the last time you read a relationship self-help book and barely implemented a darned thing.
• Module 1: The Stuff That Gets in the Way - In this module, we will get REALLY clear about the TOP 2 sources of miscommunication and misperception I see in my practice THAT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT and how you might be getting in your own way. If you’re confused about how your conversations get SO FAR off track, this will help.
• Module 2: What to Do Instead - We will cover the communication skills that will give you the most bang for your buck. You don’t need them all…or the psychobabble. I’ll break these skills and strategies down with real-life, from-my-own-marriage examples to help you move forward in a different way with confidence…and scripts, if you need them. This module also includes the Conflict Map and Training that helps you know exactly what to do and say next in a conflict AND WHY. I made this in response to clients frequently asking me, “How do you do that?! How do you know what to do/say next???” The map will show you the way. Many clients report this thing is hanging on their fridges.
• Module 3: We’re in a Fight RIGHT NOW! - I got you. It’s not IF you fight that makes or breaks a relationship, it’s HOW you move through conflict that matters. That fight or flight (or freeze) response is a b*tch in our closest relationships. I’ve created an audio you can have on hand for when your whole body just wants to pummel the other person with your words, punch a hole in a wall, run for the hills, or play dead like an opossum. Take a time-out (strategy discussed in the FREE How to Not Get Stuck Workshop), but make it meaningful with this audio that will help you reengage fully prepared for resolution 💪
PLUS
• 3-Month BONUS Workshop All-Access Pass ($350 value). You’ll receive free access to past pre-recorded workshops and all upcoming live workshops. We cover the most talked about topics in couples therapy. See below for details.
• Q+A with Mika 24/7 - Every course page includes a question box. Ask a question and I will answer it within 24 business hours either confidentially in a social media post or by private message.
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This course is for you if:
• You avoid uncomfortable interactions like the plague (like me circa 2002).
• Fights escalate into defensiveness and/or yelling quickly.
• You may have started sweeping your own wants and needs under the rug because "It's not worth the fight."
• On a scale of 1-10 (10 being AWESOME), you would score the emotional intimacy (feeling deeply seen and understood and like you both have positive regard for each other and warm, ooey gooey thoughts) a 6 or below on most days.
• You grew up in a family that didn't know a whole lot about the kind of marriage and relationships you want (me neither!).
• You don't leave uncomfortable or hard interactions feeling BETTER.
• You feel resentment building or like you have a short fuse or emotional wall, making vulnerability increasingly uncomfortable or impossible.
• You believe your partner "overreacts" or that their responses are "ridiculous."
• And, if this has been going on for a while, you find it hard to LIKE your partner anymore.
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The Effects Of Not Doing Conflict Well Are Cumulative
When you don't reach a full resolution where both people feel better at the end of a conflict, you end up sweeping unresolved conflicts under the relationship rug.
Over time, this leads to resentment and what I call POOP-COLORED GLASSES.
By the time clients get to my office (I'm a licensed Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach with Degrees in Marriage and Family Counseling), they usually have a pile of unresolved conflicts and a proverbial elephant underneath that relationship rug...and that elephant is pooping.
When we have that much stuff under our relationship rug, it impacts HOW WE SEE the other person, their behaviors, and their intent. Instead of having on rose-colored glasses, we now have on (you guessed it) POOP-colored glasses - making miscommunication more likely to occur.
This snowball effect is no fun and a sneaky part of relationship demise. Relationships don't just break one day; they break insidiously, very slowly over time.
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After almost 20 years of professional experience and training, I have realized almost everyone gets the same things wrong about conflict. This is the same tried and true process I have used in my own life AND what I’ve used with clients to turn relationships around BIG TIME (and it costs less than one private counseling session) to obtain lasting results. I use these tools and skills with everyone every day. I know this process works because I have seen it improve not just communication but whole relationships and lives time and time again.
I love the results this online program has created for couples so much that it’s been a non-negotiable part of my intensive 3 and 6-month couples counseling programs that cost $3000-6000+.
What’s Inside The Course?
The Stuff That’s Getting in Your Way
MODULE 1 - 3+ hours
This module helps you get crystal clear on your part of the problem and how to nip resentment in the bud no matter which side of the conflict you’re on.
I want my couples getting ALL THE WAY THROUGH difficult conversations or conflicts to a resolution that feels good for everyone in 10 minutes or less. Ideally, we’ll get from anger, frustration, and irritation to a resolution without (or with minimal) relationally damaging interactions (criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling, to name a few).
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If you’re not getting through conflict well, you likely have lots of unresolved issues under your relationship rug and growing resentment. After years of working with couples, I see resentment as a slow-growing relationship cancer.
If you’re confused about how conversations get off-track so quickly, you feel misperceived or misunderstood often, or you have dead-end arguments about TONE, the lessons in this module will help you create change quickly and give you and your partner a lot of content for meaningful conversations.
What to Do Instead
MODULE 2 - 2+ hours
This module also includes the Conflict Map and Training that helps you know exactly what to do and say next in a conflict AND WHY. I made this map in response to clients frequently asking me, “How do you do that?! How do you know what to do/say next???” The map will show you the way.
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We will also cover the communication skills that will give you the most bang for your buck. You don’t need them all (this isn’t about perfection)…or the psychobabble. I’ll break these skills and strategies down with real-life, from-my-own-marriage examples to help you move forward in a different way with confidence…and flexible scripts.
We Are in a Fight Right Now!
MODULE 3 - 1 hour
I got you. It’s not IF you fight that makes or breaks a relationship, it’s HOW you move through conflict that matters. I’ve created an audio you can have on hand for when your whole body just wants to pummel the other person with your words, punch a hole in a wall, run for the hills, or play dead like an opossum. Take a time-out (strategy discussed in the FREE How to Not Get Stuck Workshop that’s included in this course), but make it meaningful with this audio that will help you reengage fully prepared for resolution 💪
BONUS WORKSHOPS! 40+ hours
This workshop is included in our relateWELL membership all-access pass ($600+ value). You’ll receive access to past pre-recorded workshops and upcoming live workshops during your membership. We cover the most talked about topics in relationship therapy.
relateWELL Membership All Access Pass
Stop fighting about who left the garage light on (and other inconsequential things).
Life is hard, but communication with our loved ones doesn’t have to be. I’ve spent years compiling the best strategies from leading research as well as my own personal experiences and 18 years in private practice to create the most effective, efficient, and comprehensive communication program available. In this course, I’ll teach you my simple, step-by-step process to help you get results in your most important (or even unimportant) conversations so that you can create relationships and a life you LOVE.
When we improve communication, we improve EVERY area of our lives.
Try It Out Risk-Free For 7 Days!
Palatable (sometimes humorous) and easy-to-digest information, with ample time for practice, and support for course correction. This is what creates sustainable change.
I know this membership works because I’m sharing the exact same processes I’ve used to create HUGE relationship turnarounds in my own life and those of my clients for the last 18 years. However, if you're on the fence...or if you're skeptical if change is even possible for you, then I want to give you every chance to start this program with absolute confidence. That's why I'm giving you a FULL 7 DAYS in the program at no risk. Choose to quit by day 7, and you'll receive a full refund. No questions asked.
Still not sure?? Try this first:
“We are fighting about stupid stuff…”
I hear this from clients all the time. Whether you’re getting stuck in conversations that go nowhere with your spouse, your mother, or your kid, this video will help you move towards resolutions in a matter of minutes. No more escalating arguments. No more shutdowns with zero resolution. Join the thousands who have participated in the 30-minute How to Not Get Stuck Workshop (FREE for a limited time!) that will change the way you argue…or your money back 😉 Usually $47.00!
FREE WEBINAR!
Questions I Get Asked A Lot
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Absolutely! I HAVE NEVER sat my loved ones down and taught them communication skills and know-how formally. I focused on MY PART, changed it, and the relationships in my life had to change. And guess what? My husband and kids TOTALLY pick up on this stuff and use it! Modeling is the most powerful way to teach…it’s how we acquire most of our habitual patterns of interaction.
I've had several people take the course without their partner. I wouldn’t recommend your happiness being dependent on someone else’s behavior; that’s a recipe for an emotional roller coaster.
When I work with couples, I tell them that from here on out, the only problem, project, and solution is YOU. Cleaning up your part of the problems in your relationship is the only thing you have control over, and partner participation isn't necessary for this to occur. You have SO much power, but there’s space in your purchase for 2.
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Kids tend to magnify issues already present in the relationship while decreasing time to sufficiently deal with those issues. This course works to help busy couples slice through conflict, resentment, and hard conversations more efficiently and increase emotional intimacy...whether kids are in the picture or not. The course is parent-focused, but childless couple-friendly. While no explicit parenting information is reviewed, I use these skills, strategies, and mindsets in my relationships with my kids as well. Many of the skills for healthy relationships with your spouse are the same skills necessary for healthy relationships with your children.
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Your purchase gets you lifetime access to the course videos and resources. Your all-access bonus workshop membership pass will be available for 3 months.
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I want you to fit this program into your life in any way you can (while driving to work, while walking the dog, while cleaning...). I know doing the modules together is not ideal for most people. If partners do the Modules separately I suggest setting up a weekly 30-minute meeting with each other to discuss the material.
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If the choice is between consulting a divorce lawyer or this course, your relationship may deserve some 1-on-2 attention in the form of counseling or mediation. This course works BEAUTIFULLY in conjunction with therapy, and I believe reduces the amount of total sessions needed.