On this day of my second maternity leave with an infant and a toddler I had managed to make dinner. Between the screaming, the nursing, the wiping, the entertaining, the exhaustion, and the boo-boo kissing, with baby in sling I had skillfully juggled a baby, a toddler, and a kitchen knife the way only 2nd time mothers can do.

Maybe you’ve seen the articles popping up in your social media feeds: one featured on The Gottman Institute’s website and the other on Business Insider. Ladies are sharing them at rapid pace…perhaps hoping their less-than-emotionally-intelligent husbands will read it and somehow become more emotionally intelligent.

A 75-year longitudial study out of Harvard uncovered what creates a happy and purposeful life. What were the most important variables? Money? NOPE. Success? NOPE. What kind of car you drove? Nuh-uh. How much power you had? How much you achieved? What kind of jeans you wore? What wrinkle cream you used? How much you weighed? No. No. No. No.

You're boiling inside about something your partner just said or did...maybe it's the VERY thing you've talked about 457 times before and it's STILL happening.

The thing to do next to actually come to a resolution is probably THE most counterintuitive...

I don't know about you, but lately I'm feeling scattered and lost. I'm making dinner less. I'm working less. I'm cleaning less. I'm connecting less. I'm procrastinating everything more.

We're craving villages, emotional intimacy, connection, and support but this goes against our American ideals of independence, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, and the great importance of being "fine".

As a Therapist and Relationship Coach “How's your sex life?” is a question I ask every couple I work with. I’ve heard every answer from, “Non-existent,” to “[giggle, giggle] Ummm, OK I guess,” and many times each partner has a different perspective on the same sex life.  

You GUYS. The Family Economy is changing our lives! Have you ever tried to implement an allowance, but NEVER have the cash on hand and, slowly, the motivation of "I'll pay you later" loses its sparkle with the kiddos...and everyone throws the chores/allowance out the window?

In a group of moms I admitted ignorance, "Oh, I don't know. My husband's in charge of all kids' emails this year," in reference to a school field trip question.

What supplements do I take to support mental health, brain health, and to increase energy??

"By the way, you left the garage light on last night...and I turned it off."The heat rose from my sternum to my temples. Every cell in my body wanted to scratch his eyes out. I wanted to teach him a lesson. I wanted to mince him with my words.

Years ago I had a client whose Dad wasn’t very involved. He lived states away, he had a new wife and new, much younger, kiddos, had never been to any extracurricular activity of hers in any way shape or form, couldn’t tell you which school she went to, didn’t make an effort to know about her social life, and rarely foot the bill for anything of hers even though he was “rolling in the dough”….the list goes on.

Conflict gets a bad rap, but when done really well it's actually highly positively correlated with relational satisfaction and ratings of emotional AND physical intimacy.

Sometimes I say smart things. AND, I have LIVED on either side of this. ⁣⁣I intimately understand what it’sa like to slowly untangle layers of unhealthy beliefs about relationships. ⁣⁣You lose people. People WILL go away. Those people who benefitted from you having a lack of boundaries and standards will think there’s something wrong with you.

You're not good at *reading* people. (What does this have to do with this photo?….read til the end)

“THAT IS what you were saying."

I often hear some form of this when couples are revisiting a conflict they couldn't get through in the past week.

Earlier this year I told my good friend I had this strange desire to see a therapist. Me (the therapist) seeing a therapist isn’t the strange part. Despite what you may think, psychotherapists seeking therapy is really common. And trust me, you want the therapist who has worked through her shi….own stuff with a professional, not the one who hasn’t.

You’ve heard insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, but it’s actually how quickly they let you leave the hospital with a newborn when you have your first child.

My family being my friends might be the thing I'm most grateful for this year